Mr. MarshMallow Series | My Christmas and Nu Year Wish

I don't wanna lots for Christmas
I don't even care the present, I don't need a Christmas tree
cause baby, all I want for Christmas is you
All I Want For Christmas is You ―  Mariah Carey 
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Dear Santa, if you does exist, all I want for Christmas is Mr. Marshmallow. I really want it for my Christmas and New Year's present. He brings me a lot of happiness, I can be my self, he brings me a whole nu world to me. He's amazing!

I don't care if you bring this present late to my home cause I think I will be waiting for the rest of my life *sobbing* This kind of love isn't rational I know, I even don't dare to dream having him to be my own.Kekeke (I have dream about it twice though).

Oh God, give me some advices, give me some clues to relief this curiosity about my future soulmate, and please make stop wandering :'D *hak!

God, thanks for create this Happy Christmas! Hope I will get happier Christmas next year :'D
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OST: All I Want For Christmas Is You―Glee

Mr. Marshmellow Series | When Passion Becomes Obssesion

Kissing you baby is my dream. I am strawberry & you are the cream. Handle me gently keep me real keen. You & I together babes is passion so extreme!
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I just wanna say baby, I still love you...

Mr. Marshmallow Series | My December

“If I die, I will wait for you, do you understand? No matter how long. I will watch from beyond to make sure you live every year you have to its fullest, and then we’ll have so much to talk about when I see you again… (Bones)” ― Jeaniene Frost
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This is a kind of pleasant that may be I overjoy in this year. I may thank to God to having such feeling. I hope this feeling will keep warming my days starting from now.

For him who deserved my love I hope you got my feeling right away. All I want from you is your love. We may love each other but the time this love come to us is not right.

I think I should keep waiting for you in silence. I do hope you understand how does my silence sent message to you that I wait for you, in the rain, in pain, in love.

For you my December, thanks for giving this kind of sweet memories, of our meeting, our separating, our love story.

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soundtrack: Shampoo―After School

Mr. Marsmallow Series | I Miss You

The worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you know you can never have them.

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Dear Mr. Marshmallow
I don't know if you jinx on me or not but I just feel  jinxed by you that's why my mind only full of you. I actually enjoy this feeling, this satisfaction of loving someone that I never did for last 6 years. It feels like turn back time and being young again.
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どきどき. Thump thump, thump, thump...
I can feel my heart thumping inside like the scene of romantic drama that I use to watch...
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But, I know the problem is, you are someone else boyfriend which means we can't having each other we can not be seen together because it will be best crime. I know being cheated by someone you love is worst, that's why I keep my feeling away from you.

I don't know if you know my feeling, but I really miss you right now. It's been 2 weeks already and we haven't seen each other are killing me inside. I don't know how do you feel, are our feeling same? Do you miss me? I always ask such question in my mind when there's no sign of your existence. I always try to keep contact with you but I think it's still to far. I think our fate is not belong together.

In the deepest of my heart I can accept our condition, but if we continue like this I will never get married and can't move on then. So what's should I do?

You told me you fell in love me once, it's that just a joke? Or it's only in my mind only? Still, I can't rid of this feeling away. Not yet. If you really can't be mine, that's okay. I will let you go slowly, but not now I think. Until the day's come, just let learn how does love work to me. Yes, love someone is not difficult task, but it's full of surprise and all I can do just let it flow...

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Flames to dusts, lovers to friends, why do all good things come to and end?

Mr. Marshmallow Series | Dear Diary

Dear Diary,
His American Eagle pants-$48
His Abercrombie and Fitch shirt-$38
His Calvin Klien boxers-$17
Seeing him smile- PRICELESS
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I write down all things that bother me since 2 weeks ago. After I got intoxicated by my addiction to Mr. Marshmallow, I think I supposed to seek antidote before I die young.

Suddenly I got a good idea to distract my mind from him, by describing my feeling to him. While I seek proper words to arrange in my diary, I think I can distract my brain from his appearance, my curious about what he's doing right now, or should I check his social network to know what he's doing right now.

And well, I think my idea about writing diary is not bad either, I can distract my brain to think about him for about 50% decreased than before. But, the compensation is: my diary is about to full ㅋㅋㅋ. Now I have no idea about what should I write so I will type my diary content in this blog to complete my Mr. Marshmallow series. I know my habit having this kind of love is not right and only hurt me more. I know I suppose to end this kind of feeling someday, but still I have right admire him right? Still I have a chance to become his love right?

I don't know what is God's planning, all I know I just leave the rest to you, God!

Page 1 Prologue

His eyes is so shine. Its give me a feeling of a free bird that ready for fly high to welcome new day. I don't know what make this guy so special in my heart. Maybe his pinked-lips which make that sweet smile? Maybe his candy eye? What can of guy have that appearance? But I bet everyone who look at him will agree with me. He has something called beauty. I really am into him. He's not tall tough, but he's attractive. His bright skin and his rounded eyes can give my heart present what we call a peace.

Page 2 20121023

Isn't he so sweet, God? Is that You who send him to me? If it yes, this is the sweetest present that I have ever have. Should I have him, God? Cause my feeling said so.

God, why is he so cute? 난 정말 그 사람이보고
May I miss him? 私は彼に会いたい

Page 3 20121025

God, I wanna make him realize how special he's in my heart
God, thanks to gather us today, really surprise that I never expected. Please make him mine, God!
I wonder why people's heart is so amazing. It can detect who can flutter it with its radar called love.

Page 4 20121027

God, he talks with me and treats me like a princess, but I am just kidding around. I really don't know what should I do to attract his feeling into mine?

I really am into him, I am in love with him, maybe? I just can't barely stop comment his status just because I miss him. Would he talk to me while I am not around him? I wonder if he has same feeling with me

Page 5 20121109

God, why you let me  grow my feeling to him this much? I know he's someone else'e guy but why I keep loving him? I just want to be love by someone I love too, God.

I really am stupid become like this. Being a fan is a crime for mylife, I shouldn't do this. He even didn't put any interest to me, right? For him, I am just nothing. Just something might come and gone.

God, please give me a chance to change my path of life to be better and brighter. I know I should do this earlier, but without any falls, I will not learn everything. And may let all the best for me. Thank you God!

I think, I am really sorry for myself. I really upset for everything that happened to me. I wanna cry, but no single of tear flow from my eyes. Even my eyes cheat me!

I feel like running in a circle with no dead end. I just confused by view around me. This kind of way isn't different at all, I don't want to fall and trap in same way and same hole like before. It's too much pain. God, please save me and let me out of this way.

Page 6 20121110

Should I cry a river? He even confess he's not serious with me. Should I continue, God?

Page 7 20121111

I really am upset seeing him walk with another woman, even to think about it my heart feels like sliced into the thinnest shape. Do I have right to crush my self like this?

Page 8 20121112 Us and Melody Rain

I like walking in the rain, cause no one knows I am crying

I should not write what's happening with me and him today because it can arouse my dream and my passion to have him. I think today will become our last miserable meeting so I shouldn't bother myself to apply make up or something which can make me feel more beauty.

But the end is beyond my imagination. Our last meeting is an happy ending story. If I have to write down a short story or a novel, I have a great anticlimax!

Without any plans, we were in a 病院 long corridor. I walked with 2 other friends, Eda and Aya but suddenly I met him and I was "kidnapped" by him. His smile blinded me in a blinked of eye. Firstly, I think there's something wrong, I was too enjoying that situation. I walked with him side by side.

We were walking not too slow, not to fat either. Our conversation flew just too normal I think. We only chatted via BBM (Blackberry Messenger) only but our conversation in real life was started from that moment and it was going too smooth. That's why I love him, he gives me more than comfortable feeling. But ironically, it may be my conversation with him, but I wonder would it be the last?

Okay, let me continue our journey in hospital. We walked to radiology to send his homework, but luckily his Supervisor in radiology was not there so I have one more chance to take a bonus trip with him to 放射線治療. While we waited for his Supervisor, we chat for about 5-7 minutes.

Every minute we took as if replace every month to a couple through their date and knowing each other. Our conversation was so advance to believe but all of them were joke only. He even said "Why I've just known you when almost being doctor? If I knew you since a long time ago, I will
make you mine." My heart was like stop beating for a quarter second, because I am holding my self to be happy while I know it may be another joke he said to me. I am too afraid ask his status, whether he's single or not. What a waste question.

When that journey was about come to an end, he suddenly hug me from behind and our love fantasy would be stop by facing an epilogue. And he said a "break" in this no-based relationship. I know he pay attention to me not because he didn't think about me seriously. Maybe his condition is just like me, complicated!

I know I have a place in his heart, a bit tough. That's okay, I know I came to his life with no reason in a wrong place. Maybe I will have my right man in right time.

Page 9 20121113

Thanks God to give me something precious to be learn. Through him, I've learned how to love someone fully, without any expectation. How could I love him while he's not mine n someone's else. It's practically simpler than I thought. Maybe what proverb said is right: learning by doing! And all the things I can say just: I will continue loving someone I love and I will let them find their own happiness so, I will get another happiness. Smile will always help me to lift my courage. :) Thanks God.

By only seeing his picture makes me happy. :')
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Theme songs: 
All About Us (He Is We ft Aaron Gillespie)

Mr. Marshmallow Series | He & His Lip Service

 When It Started? I even forgot when I started like him...
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I might know him since 4 years ago, but I really want to know about him more since about 2 months ago. Someone suddenly offer me his Blackberry Contact Number and with no hidden motives I just add him and he confirmed it. I think it just coincidence because I add new friends due to my last BB was broken.

I really didn't have any additional feeling to him because he's someone else's BF. He's taken and his status is his girlfriend's name, Ms. Moon. But I often commented his status because his status was always extraordinary, for example:
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Mr. Marshmallow | [Status] "Try to get along with my patient"
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then I commented:
Me | "You are an amazing doctor, continue!" (˘-˘)ง
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That's an unnecessary comment but he make it as if it was a valuable one, so he replied:
Mr. Marshmallow | "I even try to date her, this foreigner patient! Hahaha!"
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God! That's the first time I realize he has a good sense of humor so I think hey, he's not as bad *ss as I thought before.

He even call me with my name, even we never officially introduced each other. I think he knows me from Oppa. Oppa must tell him about me a bit I think. Since then I confident to become his friend and chat as if we know each other well.

One day, in the middle of a night, I forgot what occasion brought me to that conversation, suddenly he become so childish and I think it's a great honor for me become a person who know his true personality. He suddenly told me that he really adores Nana (After School). He even shared her pictures more than 5 to me via BBM (Blackberry Messenger). That's a plus point added to him. He comfort with his personality, he never pretends to be cool in front of other people at least in front of me. And since then my heart is completely captivated by him. He's someone I looking for. And that feeling can't be easily erased just like a root of tree which grip the ground firmly.

Now I understand why woman said felt in love first time in a first conversation.
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Theme song: Rainy Sunday (Postman to Heaven's OST)

Mr. Marshmallow Series | Friend's Friend

"There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment" ― Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever
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If you read my posting about Oppa in (Don't Leave Us! A ― confeitōs series), one of my best friend, you will not hard to imagine my position in this entry. Oppa's friend and coincide is his cousin, it's Mr. Marshmallow. He has same Kasta so it's not something that could be surprised for I guess.

For Balinese people,  someone who get that kind of Kasta (one of highest Kasta in Bali) is inadvertently related each other. It's hard to believe thing yet funny, to keep their generation in same Kasta, most of them will marry their relatives. Let me explain to make it easier to get: Balinese people is a paternity inheritance which means a woman who marrying a Balinese man will follow his heritage officially, include Kasta itself.

In Bali there are 4 kind of Kasta consist of: (from top to down level)

1. Brahmana: Ida Ayu (Woman), Ida Bagus (Man)
2. Raja : Cok Istri (Woman), Cok (Man), Agung Istri (Woman), Agung (Man)
3. Ksatria : Gusti Ayu (Woman), Gusti (Man)
4. Budak : none, Pasek

So, to keep regenerate Higher Kasta in Bali, Balinese woman should marry at least same Kasta-leveled Man and no wonder why matchmaking in Bali with same Kasta is an ordinary stuff. For my case, it's a quite unfavorable situation beacuse my Kasta is not same level with him, fortunately mine is lower so I still have chance to make him mine, けけけ #dreaming. His lover for now, as long as I know is has same level Kasta with him. I think as a High Kasta-Holder he will choose same level to regenerate their descents. That's what I thought to cheer my mind only. 하하하

Aha, connected with title, Oppa my friend doesn't know at all about my existence in Mr. Marshmallow live. At least, I don't want to drag him to my private problem and moreover Mr. Marshmallow has a girl friend. I don't want Oppa will get bad influence because of me. Let my existence as a shadow only.

But in the deepest of my heart I still have a wish of being his forever-after lover.
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Theme song for this entry: Take A Look Through My Eyes (Bridge of Terrabitia OST)  | There will be time on this journey, All you'll see is darkness. Out there somewhere daylight finds you, If you keep believing!

Mr. Marshmallow Series | First Meeting

I can't remember hw exactly we met at first time but I am pretty sure first comment that I gave to him right after met him is "Hey, you are really cute" and that first meeting ended up with his grumbling. At that moment I didn't realize how bothering my comment was for a boy especially for him. Maybe he just felt upset or offended by a completely stranger like me. So far I know, he is one of my best friend's Junior High School classmate and ye didn't know me at all. And I bet he didn't recognize that meeting which is a very special moment for my life. And why would he remembered a nerdy girl and completely stranger like me able gain a notice from him? I even don't dare to dream.
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The song for this entry: Canon (Pachelbel) At The Dolphin Bay Version

Mr. Marshmallow Series Can't Stop Admiring You

Mirror mirror in the wall, who is the most fairest boy in the world? It's you, my pretty boy.
Hey, you Mister Marshmallow! Can you hear that?

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He even can win my heart every time I see him, even repeat and repeat again, my heart will be chilled out and thrilled but that feeling even got me addicted. I don't now what makes him so special. He's not tall but he's surely sweet. He can own everyone's heart if he smile I guess. He creates something that not everyone can called beauty.

I don't know why I become like this. Can't chat with him makes my heart in so much deep pain. I feel like nothing to do and feel like I lost my soul. After I chat with him and left behind, it just feel like I was dumping by my exact boyfriend tough he's not. But after I see his face through his picture it boost my mood into the highest level and I can's stop smiling. Is it the power of love or I've just got love intoxication?

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Theme songs for this entry:

• Love Drunk (Boys Like Girls) | I used to be love drunk
• Love Song (Selena Gomez) | I love you like a love song baby

Mr. Marshmallow Series | Love Intoxicated

ღ Love...

ღ Loving someone is not as simple as we write it. It can change ur smile, change your whole world. You even can be other people when you get into it.
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And now, I think I am in love with someone. I don't know it is really love or just a desire that can come and go or just possesed by admiration to him.

I can hear his voice when I want to, I even can see him through dream if I really really miss him. It's quite long time being like so stupid like this. Yeah, being in love means being a fool. I try to hide him in the deepest of my heart and keep him in my candy jar but it failed! He always jumps as my imagination and I will end up texting him.

I think if I continue my habit texting him and always try to find all about him, it will hurt my heart more. I think I have to stop thinking about him and try to distract my mind from all those connection to him. He's to much addicted for me, just like a candy.

Okay, to measure how much I get addicted to him, let me show ya! | 3 points out of 3 (Total 30 points)
(3) Always
(2) Sometimes
(1) Never

How Much I Got Intoxicated? (¬,¬)

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1. I smile when see his picture | always (3)
2. I checked his status everyday | everyday (3)
3. I text him first | almost (2)
4. My heart beat faster when he's around | always (3)
5. Talk about him | it's restricted for me (1)
6. Everything related to him being my first interest | always (3)
7. Pray, to make him mine | always (3)
8. Thinking of him in free time | always (3)
9. Jealous with his GF | sometimes (2)
10. Screen cap our conversation | when it's become awkward moment (”‾з‾)  (2) 

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See? I got 25 points out of 30 おーっ. I should know this for a long time before I play this dangerous game. I should know the side effect is addicted to him. So, how can I get cessation from him? I will find it soon, I promised! #optimist! (˘-˘)ง

Mr. Marshmallow Series | He's Driving Me Crazy!

I may be insane, being so much in love in this age is not usually happen to someone else. I just write this story to make a bet with myself which is always murmuring in my heart.
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I just wanna know would this kind of love story will have happy ending story or not. Now I just arguing with myself about what should I do in front of him. Being in love in this age is not as simple as I was in 17 yo, or younger. I have not experienced being in love for so long time. My heart just like to stop to love someone, I swear for the God's shake. I might put attention more to someone which has sense of humor or have such a cute baby face, but that's all. 

Nothing happen then yet make another story. It's just repeated and repeated again for  about 6 years lately. But suddenly he came into my live. He just passes through without any sign of being into this kind of situation. We just meet and greet and comment each other. 

I thought he's just someone who just have a good sense of humor and he he's such a cute young boy. I thought that's all. Well, it happened when he's taken. But now, when I know he's single, I started to make a hope of a closer relation with him. He's just, you know, my type. Totally! 

• He's cute, and sweet like (you see, err) a Marshmallow? He's really funny and has good sense of humor. Nobody will deny it!
• His voice cracked, but that's why I love him. It sounds so manly even he has a small body. 하하하
• He's Asian lover too. He can be so childish when he talks about how much he crush with Nana (After School)
• He has a bright skin.
• He's Hindu. Just like me!
• He has Kasta (•̯͡.•̯͡) ♥ (Well if you don't understand, let me explain you later in other entry). I can not wait if he becomes to be my lover, so I can lift my family's status :)

So with this kind of situation makes me really really hope God will grant my wish to become his lover. I know it kind of odd wish but I really enjoy loving him. When I get his message I will replay it with speed of light. If he stares at me I will blush myself without preparation. If he sits right in beside me, my heart can not stop pounding as if it will jump out of my body. It's ridiculous, right? But it's real. But I really can't stop hearing melody of love in my ears. So I thought, this being in love is! 

And he gives me a hope, and I became eager and eager to hope more than being his only message lover. I want him to show me his love to me. He should know I really am serious with my feeling, and he can not neglect what he started. 

God, please make sure he will be serious with me too, please make him mine and love me like I love him. I just can't accept if he just play with my heart, this heart has broken once, please don't let it broken twice because it so much hurt. I love you God and I am sure you know that exactly. Please give more clues to being nicer, more attractive and lovely to him, God. I trust you to make my love story become a complete of happy ending legend of my life. 

Theme song of this entry is: Sugar Sugar (Archies)  | Sugar, ah honey honey, You are my candy girl boy, And you've got me wanting you (ˆ‎ڡˆ‎) ㅋㅋㅋ

Mr. Marshmallow Series | An Introduction

If he is a candy, he must be a marshmallow! 
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Why marshmallow? Because he has sense to tease someone and have energy to make them to taste it. It will melt, fill our mouth and hard to tell how its taste. Before we comment about the the taste we've gotten addicted. Because of its smoothness and sweet, make us want some more.

Same like Marshmallow, he has a silent energy to attract my attention even if I don't want to notice. After I ignore him once I will curse myself due to regret and I will pay back to give him much more attention. He's so sweet and funny in his way and that's why I got addicted to him.

So, Let Me Introduce Mr. Marshmallow!
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• Who? | Mr. Marshmallow
• Date of Birth? |  February, 27th 1990
• Occupation? | Doctor wannabe
• Why him? |  Because he has a good sense of humour, he's like a free bird, out of box and can live being him self. He's a little bit naughty (ˇ▽ˇ)

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After I write this entry, then I realize, I have same boy interest with same criteria such as:

• White/bright skin (but there's a case I fall for totally colored-skin man, he's foreigner tough)
• Sweet/handsome with a good shape of his nose
• A little bit naughty
• Has a good lip service but cool

Oh God, If I continue being like this, can I get married? (‾‾‾.‾‾‾“)

Welcome To My Candy Jar, Mister Marshmallow!

Wise people said "Someone who spread their love excessively for real has no love in their live. They just pretend to love and be loved"
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That's why I make this blog. I will hide my identity, but not completely. I will show him how much I love him through this blog, just for decreasing my lack of capability to get near to you and just to make you realize how I love you with my rest of life. Who is he? He's Mr Marshmallow!

Maybe you are not the one, but for now, I think I will think of you for the rest of my life. My feeling to you isn't a joke I never beg you to feel pity for me, I just want you know, I have such feeling for you. I don't know how to distribute my stress apropos you because I can't own you. I know I shouldn't let this feeling develop bigger and become like addiction state. But I really thank to you that you showed me the power of love and love is not just about having each other, love is something that make ur heart pounding and fluttering more, unstable mood, sacrifice to make our love happy and the most important one is comfortable. You gave me that precious feeling when I think about you, be next to you, hugged by you and chat with you.

Last but not least I send my sincerity and thank to you!

Regard,

ღPrincess Candyღ

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View Complete Stories of Mister Marshmallow Series by clicking title below!

1. An Introduction
2. Can't Stop Admiring You
3. First Meeting
4. Friend's Friend
5. He and His Lip Service
6. Dear Diary...

Cotton Candies

Sweetest taste and appearance of Cotton Candy inspires me to create so many plot of love stories. In this bar, I will offer you so many love stories, some of them are my personal stories that's why I keep my identity hidden because I don't want to drag anybody else interfere my personal life. I just want to share my thought here, to relieve my feeling while I am happy but nobody can share my happiness, to comfort my feeling as well when nobody knows how hurt my heart after being dumped by someone I really like. Let me become a secret admire of my loves. Let them live happily without any hesitation or burden of my existence, let me be only a Princess in a Candy Jar that always love my loves from a distance. I believe, one day I will leave this candy jar and find my real Prince who can accept my sincere feeling to him.

Fairy Floss Stories

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1. Hello, Mister Marshmallow! | A love story of mine. When love is not about having each other the world is not about come to and end...

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Aren't love complete our live? Of course! So don't hesitate to love someone and keep loving them will help you to grow stronger than yesterday. ♡